
20th Century Fox - 20th Century Fox
Release date: 2008-04-15
DVD
Director:Uwe Boll
Actors: Jason Statham, Kristana Loken, John Rhys-Davies
Action, Action / Adventure, Action/Adventure, Adventure, Atmospheric, Canada, English, Epic, Fanciful, Fantasy, Fantasy Adventure, Fantasy Lands, Feature, Feature Film-action/Adventure, Heroic Mission, Lavish, Movie, Rousing, Stylized, Sweeping




My family enjoyed this movie as it is exactly what it was designed to be...entertaining. Geez, people, it's just a fantasy story about a kingdom, monsters and magic...how award-winning do you think it should be? The acting was not bad, and it did have a lot of big names in it, which was neat to see. The magical special effects were quite nice, too. We enjoyed this movie as fans of action-adventure flicks. Fun way to spend an evening. It certainly was not awful, as some reviewers have said.
I really don't know where to begin here. I didn't even know that this movie would be packed with so many stars I know and love. Well, I guess I'll throw my two cents in:
1) The Farmer turns out to be a top notch martial artists, wrestler, and sword fighter. When and Where did he acquire the knowledge and skills to both learn farming and combat skills? I mean his fighting was above par by any standard.
2) The tree sprits are feminists tree huggers. While they shoo away the males from their forests, they drop their high morals and ethics at the mere beck and call from a female.
3) At the final battle, the outnumbered human army literally has the high ground on a muddy hill yet they charge down the hill ruining the biggest advantage that they've got.
4) Ninja's!?!?
5) So many different accents all around it's hard to believe they all come from the same region.
I've learned to stop buying movies "just" because. I'll rent them first and if possible, get it for free before I ever consider buying it. Never again will I waste my money in making liberal democrat actors rich.
About thirty minutes in, my wife turned to me and asked this question:
"Who directed this and how did they get the money?"
Realizing the context of this remark, she is not a film buff and often cares very little about the art of film, who directs, who scored it and so on. Maybe she likes an actor every now and then, but it's not often. Her favourite film is Brotherhood of The Wolf.
My answer was this:
"Uwe Boll. No one seems to know where he gets any the money to make any of his movies."
"Ewe? You got that right," she stated, rolling her eyes.
I think his films may qualify as 'self-published' as he may be printing up the cash needed for these projects in his basement and propelling them forward on his own coin.
Too many jokes can be made about the man's first name and the apparent writing and overall quality of his films. It almost seems like a sport or a hobby for some to denigrate and chase down Ewe Boll movies and write one-star reviews. It seems almost unanimous that if anyone should be chased away from the art of film-making it should be Uwe. Some have even said that he should make a movie with Casper Van Dien and Jan Michael Vincent if he really wanted to do something corny and awful. He might even win an Oscar if he did.
In watching this train wreck, I thought several times to turn it off, but I also began to realize just how close to the edge a lot of these films from this genre border on being awful from the casting alone -- let alone the editing. These are probably the two biggest problems with this flick.
It wasn't bad seeing Jason Statham playing a farmer, named Farmer. Why not? It's actually not that anachronistic of a thing. Someone who might've been a blacksmith back then would've been called
'Blacksmith'. No biggie. Seeing 'The Bandit' / Burt Reynolds as the King was interesting but maybe a mistake. Ray Liotta was the only real draw to this movie and preformed rather well as an evil sorcerer. But watching it progress, reminded me of an article I recently read on CNN where they stated that Peter Jackson (of Lord of The Rings fame) courted Sean Connery with 15% of the World-Wide gross from his franchise to play Gandolf. Connery turned it down, and $400 million in the process. I think those films would've been received vastly different in the scenario with Connery as Gandolf. It might have even ruined it. Connery is quite a presence, but Ian McKellen immortalized himself as Gandolf.
Nobody in this picture immortalizes themselves at all. Leelee Sobieksi proves once again that she just looks weird, acts weird and talks weird. John Rhys-Davis should lay off the Hair Club for Men and retire. Ron Perlman was sadly and drastically underused and Matthew Lillard looks as though he was picked out of the food-court at the Glendale Gallaria Mall.
But good ol' Uwe is cranking out four more flicks scheduled to be released 2009 and 2010. He's definitely here to stay.